To say that I’m nervous doesn’t begin to cover how I feel as I’m typing this.
To have been bullied and everything this entailed was my filthy little secret for so many years. Only my immediate family knew, and it’s still a silence that’s just there, not something we talk about openly.
Funny choice of word, some might say. “Filthy” alludes to something dirty, something that was my own fault. Something I rightfully should be ashamed of.
And I am ashamed. Because this is the how the world at large view bullying and bullying victims. It is something we invited in, something we are to carry the blame for. If someone is being bullied, it’s because they’re doing something to provoke their peers and you can’t blame those poor little darlings for lashing out at these annoying weirdos.
At least that’s my experience, whenever I’ve tried in the past to talk to people about the issues surrounding bullying, especially among school children and students.
So to write on a public blog for the whole world to see is very daunting to me. The idea for this blog arrived some years ago, but at that time I was still too much of a mess to be able to write in a concise and (somewhat) levelheaded manner.
A big concern was the abuse and harassment I might attract for writing what I do. When I first had the idea I knew I couldn’t take it, but therapy and many hours of reflection has somewhat helped me harden for that possible outcome.
You’ve probably guessed by now I don’t have the most positive outlook on the world and human beings in general. Why that is will become apparent in the blog posts to follow.
I have no expectations surrounding Outcast or what its future will be. Perhaps it will be a hit, perhaps no one will care, perhaps it will gain a few readers.
All I can promise is that I will be completely honest about my experiences. This also means I will not sugarcoat anything.
You’ve been warned.